Roger
by YouLittleRat
Summary: What it's like in Roger's life


"_Swim a little closer, dearie dee_

_Swim a little closer to me, to me_

_Swim a little closer, sweet as pie_

_Swim a little closer, oh me, oh my."_

"That's an, uh, interesting song Roger," says Skipper tactfully, he and the other penguins are being entertained by Roger at his habitat, "How'd you come by it?"

"My Mother used to sing it to me and my siblings when we were little," responds Roger, offering the penguins some _hors d'oeuvres._

"I though you used to be owned by a family in Florida," comments Kowalski, accepting his food.

"I was, but before that I was in a swamp and then I was snatched up and plopped into a pet shop. Boy that was exciting.

_Swim a little closer_

_Swim a little closer_

_Because you can't see me."_

"Don't you find that song just a tad, uh, creepy?" asks Skipper.

"Creepy? In what way?"

"Examine the verses," says Kowalski, "Sweet as pie. You can't see me. The song is about a predator lying in wait to catch it's delectable _–gulp- _prey." The penguins shudder.

"No, that's ridiculous. The song is about a- uh. It's about… good glory! It _is_ about a predator! Oh how disturbing!"

"Don't worry about it Roger," pipes up Private, "I'm sure your mother meant the best when she sang to you and your siblings, in her own way."

"Yeah I… guess." Roger looks down, not hungry anymore.

* * *

The next day Roger was over at Marlene's helping her redecorate. He held up a picture to hang on a wall put but it down again and sighs.

"What's the matter Roger? Usually you love helping me redecorate."

"Marlene, can I ask you something?"

"Uh-huh," says Marlene, adjusting some fish in a vase, "Shoot."

"Am I scary?"

"Uhhhhh, you're certainly… special."

"But am I scary?"

"I d- well- I, uh- you know when people first meet you there's a little… but afterwards they like you a lot more!"

"So I am scary."

"Oh come on. It's only because they don't know you, I mean," Marlene chuckles, "Remember when we first met and you, you were scared of me? Remember that?"

"Yeah I remember. But I really wish that somebody wasn't afraid of me from the- from the get-go, you know?"

"Daw. _Roger._ Come here. You need a hug." Roger gathers Marlene up in a hug and then squeezes the breath right out of her.

"Thanks Marlene, I really needed this."

"No problem," wheezes Marlene.

* * *

"The zoo is now open," announces Alice's voice over the speakers. The gates swing open and people enter. In the alligator habitat Roger shakes his hands nervously.

"Okay Roger, break a leg," he mutters to himself and turns to the people gathered around his home. "Hiya folks! Today is going to be an extra special treat. I'm singing a little song for you guys and with a little luck, it'll bring us all closer. _Ahem."_ He hops onto the barrier between himself and the people.

"_Deceptive logs, and chewed-up hogs_

_ Have left a bad impression_

_ Nervous stares, and wary glares_

_ Have lead to this confession_

_ I don't like to lurk in shadows_

_ Or slip closer while you're drinking_

_ I'd much rather sing on stages_

_ And listen to what you're thinking_

_ Oh I'm Roger the friendly gator_

_ Roger the friendly gator_

_ I like sweets and pies and little guys_

_ But the lasts one's not for eating," _Roger reaches down and pinches a child's cheek; a parent pulls the kid away.

"_No the last one's not for eating." _He dances a little jig and the people step away.

"_Feeding on lil' peaceful critters_

_ Is not very appetizing_

_ Reciting works of poets is_

_ Something more inviting_

_ Yes I'm Roger the friendly gator_

_ Roger the friendly gator_

_ I like Broadway plays and community_

_ You can depend on me for certain_

_ Oh depend on me for certain." _Roger smiles his big, toothy alligator-smile at a woman and she screams, startling him. The people start running away yelling about how he's loose and that he's vicious. It was absolute chaos in his part of the zoo. Roger's shoulders slump and he drags his tail back into his habitat. They didn't even let him finish his song.

* * *

"Well that was a total bust," sighs Roger, leaning up against the zoo wall. The people have calmed down a bit now that they realize he isn't attacking them and Alice is making plans to raise his barrier. Listening to her yell at a guy on her walkie-talkie about feeding him more often, he flicks away a small rock and sighs again. "Guess I'm always gonna be seen as a monster."

In the park, directly behind him, an old man and his dog come up to a park bench. "Alright now Brutus," says the old man to the dog, "Stay. I need you to help me find my lunch in this confounded bag."

"Okay I stay," replies Brutus, "I stay but I really wanna go smell things. I really, really, really wanna go smell- I'm gonna go smell things. Don't notice me go. I'll walk carefully so you don't notice me go. Don't see me." The dog walks away.

"I've got it open, help me find my lunch," says the old man. Roger hears him and looks over the edge.

"Who, me?"

"Hurry up, I haven't got all day." Roger climbs over the wall, comes over and digs the man's lunch out for him.

"Here ya go."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," says Roger, and then he gasps. "You- you're not scared of me! Oh my gosh, I can't believe this! You sir, have just made my day. I mean lately I have been _so_ self-conscious about the way that I look. You know that earlier today I performed a little number, nothing to fancy, just me singing, in order to convince people that I wasn't a bad guy but I think I just ended up making things worse." The old man doesn't respond, he just sits and eats his lunch. "Wow, you are really a good listener. I feel better. I actually feel like I'm glowing. Do I look like I'm glowing? I'm just so happy! You know back- oh I should get back to the zoo," Roger stands, "It was really nice talking to you mister." He turns to go but then stops and hugs the old man. "Thank you," he whispers and then hops back into the zoo. The dog returns.

"I'm back, I smelled what I wanted to smell."

"Brutus, I don't know if I'm getting too old or if you just hugged me right now. And you were bigger too." The old man feels around for Brutus' leash. "Lets go home so I can find my glasses and get a proper look at you."

The end.


End file.
